FOUGHT FOR LOVE (Part 6)
The next post(s) shall give you the intensified details of what they had and what instigated the break-up. :)
“……. I fought every single cell in my body not to walk up to her and throw her into my arms, that would be unreasonable. She hadn’t noticed my presence yet, so she cried some more. When I couldn’t hold in any longer, I walked up to her and touched her arm”
When I first felt the hand on my arm, I assumed it to be Miri's, knowing clearly that she saw the wrecked state that I was in before I left for the bathroom, but when I let my nasal system switch on for its research, I smelt a man's cologne, the one I have known for like ever. The first birthday gift I got for the man I love but let slip away from my tight grasp only willingly. He looked at me like a mother would look at her child who had played in the mud till her clothes got dirty. What I can't seem to figure out is the feeling hid beneath the expression, Pity? Care? Or worse, Disgust?. I stood up bravely and stopped crying, letting out a colossal sigh. I realised that he might have been at the door for a long time, spying. I shrugged at the thought, blushing all the way, he had seen me cry! Let out my bowels! Oh God! Can a day be any worse? He shifted his arms to my back and patted me like he used to do to me childishly whenever I'm not feeling too good or when I feel sleepy, staying over at his place. I really do not deserve this affection and I feel like a selfish, self-centered, ungrateful kid right now. "Anna, hmm-mm, it's okay. You can come over here" he pointed at his chest, and now, that's somewhere I should not be resting on, but I let go the hard feelings and went just there, drowning in the warmth of his embrace. I sniffed and decided to tell him what I was here for, grudgingly pulling out of the soothing hug. I decided to face him, despite the horrible condition I know my face is in right now, catching a quick glimpse in the mirror on the wall.
“Hannie, you remember I told you earlier that I’m here to talk to you, privately?” I paused a bit, stealthingly looking at the expression on his face, then I continued after I heard him mumble a “huh-huh”.
“eeerrrmmrm, hmm-mm” I cleared my throat a bit, foolishly displaying the fact that what I will say in the next few seconds would be stupid, but I just went on, since I had ignored the constant warning of my brain not to come here, letting my heart have its way, I have to tell him this, I owe him that much.
"Ha-aa-anie, I'm leaving the country" I let it out easily like a water falling down a cliff. His expression was replaced with utter astonishment and I knew he had a fierce battle going on inside of him, he struggled for words as I had caught him off-guard.
“Anna, you wanna leave the Country?? Hmmm-mm, leaving??? And where are you going?”
"I'm going back home Hannie, I gotta return"
“Home? Nigeria? A-nn-a, you going to Nigeria??” I saw tears fill his eyes, I didn’t want to HURT him but I realised that it is the right description of what I had done, tears streamed down my face as I watch him struggle to stay on his feet.
"I'm so sorry Han, but I think it's the best decision, and I had made it. I just wanted you to know that this might be our last conversation forever" and right there, he seemed to have lost a complete grip on himself, he wept like a kid, the only time I ever saw him cry like that was when he thought he would lose his sister to cancer. Even on the day we broke up, he was not that broken, I guess it's the thought that he will not see me again that made him lose total control. I know I deserve to be shot dead right now but I'm convinced it's the right choice I made.
“Why are you leaving? Because of the break-up?” raising his head up, he seems to have found his voice.
“No, I got a message from home. Ma mum is sick” that was partly true but not enough reason to leave this country I made my home years ago. I’m done here, I’ve got one more person to face; my roomate.
“Tell Miri, I’ll see her some other time” leaving him is one thing, telling him to lie for me is another, I feel so dirty.
And with that, I made my way out of the bathroom carefully, not alerting Miri, and before I knew it, I was out of his apartment, out of his life, forever.
So, how was that? You like it?
Do you think Anna is really selfish? Please drop ya comments. 🙂
Nimisire says ‘Happy New Year!’